Q:I (an AFAB person) really want to cut back on masturbation but I don't know how. I currently do it once a day by manually rubbing my clit and though it doesn't affect my day-to-day life I'm worried that the dependancy on my clit for orgasm is the reason I'm unable to feel pleasure from penetration
Hi anon! Let me start by saying that there is nothing inherently wrong with your masturbation schedule - especially if it doesn’t affect your day-to-day life - and doing it once a day is totally healthy. The fact that you prefer clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm doesn’t relate to your lack of pleasure from penetration. Most people tend to self-stimulate the clitoris far more often than the vagina, or only stimulate the vagina in conjunction with clitoral stimulation. The clitoris has more sensory nerve endings than any other part of the body, but the vagina – particularly the back 2/3rds of it – has very few. So physically, the clitoris is the gateway to a quicker and more accessible orgasm, and your inability to feel pleasure from penetration can be rooted in the less nerve-dense physiology of the vagina.
If you’re looking to cut back on masturbation, try changing up your routine (skipping a day, every two days, etc.). But if you see that it’s not really working for you, don’t forget that there’s certainly nothing wrong with doing it every day.
Ten Truly Terrible Pieces of Advice Offered To and About Bisexuals
Today Dear Prudence/Emily Yoffe of internet website Slate wrote some real unhelpful advice to a beleaguered bisexual lady out there. GLAAD agreesthat advising bisexuals does not seem to be her strong point. Lucky for Prudence and unlucky for us, she is in pretty good company in that regard. Sometimes it’s telling bisexuals to definitely never come out ever; sometimes it’s telling them they HAVE…
7 Things I Wish Parents Would Stop Teaching Their Children:
- That nudity is inherently sexual
- That people should be judged for their personal decisions
- That yelling solves problems
- That they are too young to be talking about the things they’re already starting to ask questions about
- That age correlates to importance
- That interacting with someone of the opposite sex is inherently romantic
- That the default for someone is straight and cisgender
Template for Preferred Name/Pronouns Letter to Teachers:
Dear Professor [name],
My name is [Preferred name], and I will be attending your course [blank] on [days] at [time] this [term]. I am transgender and have not yet legally changed my name. On your roster is my legal name, [Legal name]. I would greatly appreciate it if you refer to me as [Preferred name] and use [pronouns] when referring to me. Thank you for your understanding, and I look forward to starting your course next week.
"I think people who commit suicide after transition probably do it because they’ve been treated horribly by bigots because of it. I think they’d be just as unhappy and likely to commit suicide if they were living a lie, though, and felt uncomfortable in their bodies.
What needs to happen is greater awareness. We talk about gay and lesbian issues all the time, which is great, but I think we need to be talking about trans issues just as much.
I’m often shocked at how little people know, even those in my generation, which tends to be more accepting than generation X and baby boomers. It’s quite a simple concept, really - that somebody was just born into the wrong body, but people don’t understand that. I think trans people deserve a lot of compassion, and I, for one, think they are so brave. I think a lot of people would agree with me, if we could just educate them a bit.”
Those who claim that sex is determined by chromosomes must not realize that sex is assigned at birth not by chromosomes, not even by gonads, but by genitals. In fact, the vast majority of us never learn what our sex chromosomes are. Sex isn’t something we’re actually born with, it’s something that doctors or our parents assign us at birth. So if sex is determined by genitals, they must be clearly binary and unchangeable, right? Wrong. Genitals can be ambiguous at birth and many trans people get surgery to change them. Neither chromosomes nor genitals are binary in the way that “biological sex” defenders claim they are, and the vast majority of measures by which we judge sex are very much changeable.
While it is true that gender and sex are different things, and that gender is indeed a social construct, sex isn’t the Ultimate Biological Reality that transphobes make it out to be. There’s nothing intrinsically male about XY chromosomes, testosterone, body hair, muscle mass or penises… Sex, like gender, is indeed socially constructed and can be changed.