Ten Truly Terrible Pieces of Advice Offered To and About Bisexuals
Today Dear Prudence/Emily Yoffe of internet website Slate wrote some real unhelpful advice to a beleaguered bisexual lady out there. GLAAD agreesthat advising bisexuals does not seem to be her strong point. Lucky for Prudence and unlucky for us, she is in pretty good company in that regard. Sometimes it’s telling bisexuals to definitely never come out ever; sometimes it’s telling them they HAVE…
7 Things I Wish Parents Would Stop Teaching Their Children:
- That nudity is inherently sexual
- That people should be judged for their personal decisions
- That yelling solves problems
- That they are too young to be talking about the things they’re already starting to ask questions about
- That age correlates to importance
- That interacting with someone of the opposite sex is inherently romantic
- That the default for someone is straight and cisgender
Template for Preferred Name/Pronouns Letter to Teachers:
Dear Professor [name],
My name is [Preferred name], and I will be attending your course [blank] on [days] at [time] this [term]. I am transgender and have not yet legally changed my name. On your roster is my legal name, [Legal name]. I would greatly appreciate it if you refer to me as [Preferred name] and use [pronouns] when referring to me. Thank you for your understanding, and I look forward to starting your course next week.
"I think people who commit suicide after transition probably do it because they’ve been treated horribly by bigots because of it. I think they’d be just as unhappy and likely to commit suicide if they were living a lie, though, and felt uncomfortable in their bodies.
What needs to happen is greater awareness. We talk about gay and lesbian issues all the time, which is great, but I think we need to be talking about trans issues just as much.
I’m often shocked at how little people know, even those in my generation, which tends to be more accepting than generation X and baby boomers. It’s quite a simple concept, really - that somebody was just born into the wrong body, but people don’t understand that. I think trans people deserve a lot of compassion, and I, for one, think they are so brave. I think a lot of people would agree with me, if we could just educate them a bit.”
Those who claim that sex is determined by chromosomes must not realize that sex is assigned at birth not by chromosomes, not even by gonads, but by genitals. In fact, the vast majority of us never learn what our sex chromosomes are. Sex isn’t something we’re actually born with, it’s something that doctors or our parents assign us at birth. So if sex is determined by genitals, they must be clearly binary and unchangeable, right? Wrong. Genitals can be ambiguous at birth and many trans people get surgery to change them. Neither chromosomes nor genitals are binary in the way that “biological sex” defenders claim they are, and the vast majority of measures by which we judge sex are very much changeable.
While it is true that gender and sex are different things, and that gender is indeed a social construct, sex isn’t the Ultimate Biological Reality that transphobes make it out to be. There’s nothing intrinsically male about XY chromosomes, testosterone, body hair, muscle mass or penises… Sex, like gender, is indeed socially constructed and can be changed.
These posters are in the stalls of the bathrooms at my university (at least in the ladies, I haven’t asked anyone if they’re in the gents too. I hope so though). Thank you National Union of Students for doing it right. If only they put these posters up in all public bathrooms
Q:Is it possible for penetration - even with just a finger - to not feel good at all? Every time I try to mix fingering in with the usual masturbation it just kills my mood and gets uncomfortable. On another note, is it normal for virgins to be unable to penetrate with more than two fingers?
It’s very possible, yes. Like everything related to sex, each person is different. Some people enjoy penetration over outer stimulation, and others enjoy a good external genital rubbing instead. The joy of sex, and especially masturbation (in this case), is that it’s all about listening to what your body and mind are comfortable with. There’s no “How To” for masturbating, and not everyone does it the same way. If you see that penetration kills your mood, it’s okay to avoid it during masturbation and stick to what you really enjoy.
There’s also no sense of “normal” with sex. In regards to your second question, pain/pleasure thresholds vary from person to person. However, the keys to any form of penetration are relaxation and lubrication. Make sure you’re well lubricated to allow everything to flow more easily and to relieve any painful friction or pressure that may occur. Feeling uncomfortable in any situation will cause your body’s muscles to tense up, including the vagina and the anus. If your mind is relaxed, your body is relaxed! If you see that penetration is still increasingly painful or uncomfortable, check with a health care professional.